The Powerful and Buff Eric Cartman
by SheriffWoodyAwesome685
Summary: Based off a classic SpongeBob episode. Eric Cartman orders fake arms with inflatable muscles to try to impress his friend Heidi Turner.


It was a normal day in the town of South Park, Colorado. In his house, Eric Cartman is in his living room, flexing his body in front of a mirror. As he flexed his "muscles", despite being fat, he made grunting noises. "It's time to grow myself large and wide!" Cartman declared. He walked over to a barbell on the floor, which consists of two stuffed bunnies. Cartman bent down, and grasped the metal rod tightly in both hands. It took every ounce of strength to lift it up over his head, and he struggled frenziedly while bouncing up and down. He successfullu lifted the bar over his head...

...and it tilted on one side, the impact making a squeak. Cartman heard the doorbell ring, and he released his grasp from the weight, and he walked over to his front door. Once he arrived, he opened the door, revealing a girl with dull brown hair. Her name was Heidi Turner, Cartman's friend.

"Hey, Eric." Heidi greeted, while walking inside. "How's it going?"

"Not too close, Heidi." Cartman replied. "I tend to get sweaty when I'm bumping iron." Cartman flexed his arm. His arm is not even close to a muscle. His arm and forearm are still flabby. "Check it out."

Heidi tried her best to hide any unsure expression. She mused, "Well, you are sweaty."

Cartman put his arm by his side, and pointed over to something in the corner, "All thanks to my state-of-the-art weight set." From what Cartman would recall or believe, his so-called "state-of-the-art weight set" was actually a set consisting of stuffed animals for "weights" with a bench under one rod with plushies, alongside a toy box with stuffed animals for replacement weights. Above the set is a Smile poster with a heart on it. It looks pretty childish and Heidi was sure of it.

"Uh, I don't to dissapoint you, Eric, but you won't see any progress lifting those." Heidi is right, he can't show any exercise progress lifting weights with stuffed animals on them. They're way too light to lift, but real weights can really help.

"Oh really?" Cartman asked slyly.

"That is, if you want arms like these..." Heidi lifted up her shirt sleeve, and presented a very muscular and impressive bicep, from what she would believe. Cartman was completely astonished by what he saw. "...or these..." The girl lifted up her other sleeve and showed another bicep. "...OR THESE!" Heidi showed her back muscles while doing a back double bicep flex. Cartman was completely speechless by what he saw. He lifted up his own arm and he can see that it's nowhere close to Heidi's. Seeing that he does need to lose some flab, Cartman might need some guidance.

"Well, uh...maybe I could use a little...help." Cartman said, albeit hesitantly.

"Well, if you want arms like mine..." Heidi explained as she pulled down her shirt sleeves around her wrists back in place, "...you just need to follow my training program."

Cartman was especially curious of how he can build a stronger self. "Wow, really? That'd be great, Heidi. I can see me now..."

Cartman began to imagine himself as a very muscular boy. One montage shows Cartman cooking burgers at the Sizzler, then another showing Carmtan running through the park while trying to catch a butterfly as he made thumping footsteps as he runs, then one more montage scene shows Cartman getting ready for bed, but is way to big for his bed, but Cartman payed no mind. "Goodnight, Kitty." His gray tabby, Kitty, meowed in response.

The montage ends, and the scene dissolves back to Cartman and Heidi. Cartman had a wonderstruck look on his face. Having such a muscular body, who would've dreamed it? This is really going to be a reality for Cartman. "Yeah...That would change everything."

"Be at my place at 5 AM." Heidi said before walking home.

_**The next morning...**_

As promised, Cartman partook in Heidi's training program at her house. In her backyard, Cartman is trying to do push-ups, but found it a little hard due to how fat his body is. Heidi is coaching him as she wrote down the progress Cartman did on a clipboard as she stood alongside him. "Come on Eric. It's only pushups." Heidi encouraged. "Come on, come on. You can do it!"

Cartman grunted as he did his first push up the best he could. He struggled, but his arms gave out, and his body collapsed face-first onto the grass. "One." Cartman said weakly.

Meanwhile, in a makeshift boxing ring, Heidi and Cartman are both wearing boxing gloves, which is another way of training to get muscles. "All right, put 'em up." Heidi commenced. Cartman did all he could, but his fear overtook him, so he barely lifted them up, and put his arms by his sides.

"They're up, Cartman squeaked, eyes squeezed shut.

"Ding-ding." Heidi punched Cartman hard on the stomach, causing him to writhe in agony.

Later, Heidi had set up an outdoor treadmill, with Cartman standing on the belt. Cartman percieved that running is a form of exercise and would really build up his stamina. Once the treadmill was activated, Cartman began running on it and the speed increased as he began to run faster. Suddenly, the speed was increased beyond comprehension and Cartman began to run at an impossibly fast pace.

"Feeling the burn?" Heidi asked.

"I'm feeling something!" Cartman shouted back, his voice shaking from the steps he ran. Cartman let out a yell as he crashed back-first into a tree in Heidi's backyard.

Later, Cartman is being escorted to something...or somewhere by Heidi to help Cartman develop muscles. "Well, now that we got you warmed up, it's time for the 'Arm Cruncher'.

"Arm Cruncher, great." Cartman said a little meekly. The Arm Cruncher was actually a marble pedastal with two cinder blocks tied by rope slamming up and down next to a pair of hollow black gloves. This is definetly a horrifying arm cruncher indeed, and Cartman's eyes widen with horror. He muttered, "This girl's trying to kill me."

Heidi reached the Arm Cruncher, obliviously carrying a phone in her hand, a casuality that Cartman must've escaped from Heidi's grasp and put a phone in her place of her hand. "This is it."

"_Hey, that's great, Heidi._" Cartman's voice on the other line spoke. "_Well, I sure had fun, but we'll have to do that again sometime. Bye._"

If the brief phone call were any indication, Cartman had somehow retreated back into his house and to his bedroom, so he would have to avoid the dangers of the Arm Cruncher, and those excercise routines were traumatic experiences, in Cartman's case. Right now, Cartman is lying on his back in his bed. Dropping his house phone near the bed, he grimaced, "This working-out thing isn't working out." Cartman's arms began throbbing, courtesy of how he went through the arduous excercises. "Ow."-THROB!-"Ow."-THROB!-"Ow."

"_Hey, hey you!_" A deep voice said out of nowhere. Cartman sat up and looked around confusedly as the voice continued, "_'Wimpy, wimpy, wimpy! Ooh, I'm a little peanut worm!' Are you too much of a wimp to work out?_" The voice seem to be coming from a man on his TV. It appears to be a commercial advertising something that can make Cartman gain muscles in an instant. Also his voice is laced with deep confidence. "_Are you a weakling with all that fat in you? Well, now you too, can have muscles!_"

Cartman looked on in astonishment as the commercial went on. "_With Anchor Arms!_" The man got out some long, thin pink balloons that can be worn around the whole arm. "_They slip on like a glove! Just add air._" The man added a pump, and the arm inflates to make it look like a muscular bicep. "_How big do you want 'em?_" He added some air and the air alternates between variations of how the person wants their muscle to be, such as the original, muscles with veins, including a hairy muscle. "_Normal? Veiny? And for the ladies...hairy._"

Cartman let out a wolf whistle as the commercial begins to come to and end. "_I was a wimp before Anchor Arms!_" The man on the TV showed a picture of a scrawny and nerdy person, before dropping the picture and flexing his 'muscles' one last time. "_Now I'm a jerk and everybody loves me! So order now, WIMP!_" The commercial ended with the man pressing his pointing finger at the camera.

"Wow!" Cartman was completely blown away by what he had seen on the commercial. "Now, that's a good idea." Kitty meowed confusedly at Cartman. Getting Anchor Arms may be an easy task, but the advertisement showed that the muscles are fake. But Cartman was willing to do it. "I wanna be just like him! Yeah, I've got to get to a phone."

Later, Kyle Broflvoski is outside his house. He is relaxing in a patio chair and licking a Popsicle. Suddenly, a giant shadow passes by him, causing him to stop licking the frozen treat on the stick. "Hi, Kyle!" Cartman's voice greeted.

"Cartman?" Kyle asked, his voice muffled due to his tongue stuck on the Popsicle's icy surface.

Outside the Sizzler, PC Principal is outside sweeping the pavement around the restaurant while humming to himself. He stops sweeping and gazes up at the sight before him as the shadow passes PC Principal. "Hey, PC Principal!"

"Mother-of-pearl!" PC Principal cried. He frantically retreated back into the restaurant, leaving the broom behind.

At a nearby beach in South Park somewhere, male bodybuilders of different shapes and sizes are working out in many forms, and they possess the power to get muscles just by lifting weights in all different sizes, no matter how heavy or light they are. Just then, the shadow approaches three other men who are working out (one watching, one lifting a weight, and one lifting a dumbell). The men allg asp at the sight standing before them. The one in the middle is so astonished, that he dropped the weight, literally crushing their feet in the process. "Ow." Two of the men winced.

Out of the shadows came Cartman wearing a turquoise blue Speedo, and is donning Anchor Arms, as seen on his TV. He most likely ordered them through phone, via package delivery, and added air to make it look like he gained muscular arms, despite having a fat body. "Hey, guys." Cartman greeted while flexing.

"Cartman?" Al Gore asked with surprise. "Is that you?"

Cartman strode past the bodybuilders, before stopping and asking, "Who are you expecting?" He began to flex more, thus knocking some bodybuilder out of sight. "Tiny Tim? Wait, wait." Cartman presented his "new muscles" and more muscles began to grow. "Big, aren't they?"

Al Gore is completely astonished. He marveled, "Dude, you're ripped!"

"Thank...you." Cartman formed the words 'THANK' and 'YOU' on each muscle. "I've been working out." Cartman began to flex his muscles in different moves, as he said, "Exucse me a second." After a few more seconds of flexing, he twisted his muscles around, as he asked, "Anyone for the...Juice Bar?" Cartman formed pineapple drinks and glasses on both arms. He started off, as Al Gore and other bodybuilders followed suit.

Meanwhile, at the Juice Bar, Clyde Donovan told Craig Tucker, "I'm telling you, he's huge!"

Heidi walked up to the two boys, and asked, "Any of you seen Cartman anywhere?"

Clyde asked, "You mean the Powerful and Buff Cartman? He's in there!"

Heidi is confused by what Clyde just said. There is no way Cartman gained muscles THAT easily. Nevertheless, at least Heidi knew where Cartman is. "Uh...whatever. Thanks." Heidi began to walk inside the Juice Bar, where he finds several bodybuilders gathered around a bar table.

"I start off with 20 raw eggs every day. But that's just me." A familiar voice spoke nearby. Heidi pinpointed the location of the voice, it was Cartman on a barstool, leaning his muscular arms against the table.

"Pardon me." Heidi said, as she tried to squeeze through the crowd.

"Working out is my life." Cartman said with swagger. "I remember when I used to look like that guy over there." Cartman pointed over to a scrawny boy nearby in the Juice Bar. Two men disperse to reveal him.

"Who, me?"

The crowd began to laugh at Cartman's story. They think it was a very hilarious story, before Cartman went on, "I remeber when I used to look like you, too." He gestured to Al Gore, who gave him a confused look, before the crowd continued to laugh. "But that's just a long time ago."

The bartender handed him a drink with a straw. "Here's your drink, sir."

"Thank you." Cartman said. He reached over to grab his drink with his new muscle, but it wouldn't move nor budge. No matter how hard he tried, it wouldn't move. The downside is that the muscles are just inflated air inside the arm shaped balloon. He decided to reach for the straw, but it wouldn't move either, despite the fact that straws are very light. Everyone stares at him, because of how he futilely tried so he leaned over and sipped through the straw. That did the trick. "Yeah."

Heidi approached Cartman. "Cartman?" She was awed by the way Cartman looks. "Wh-Where'd you get those muscles?"

Cartman explained coolly, "I created my own workout routine that's been giving me amazing results." As he said that, the top of the arm began to fold over. "Whoops." Cartman quickly fixes the Anchor Arm as he replied, "Yeah, I have never felt better."

"Heck, what's your secret?" Heidi asked curiously.

The minute the word 'secret' came out of Heidi's mouth, Cartman began to feel nervous. "What?"

"Your secret workout. What is it?" Heidi asked expectantly. The crowd filled the room with chatters of utmost curiosity at the expense of Cartman's so-called 'secret workout routine'.

Cartman pondered, "Hmm, well..I, uh..." He tucked his hand under his arm, "First, I take my hand and I do this," Cartman made arm farts with his Anchor Arms, which was weirding out everyone present.

"Are you kidding?" Al Gore asked quizzically.

"Do these muscles lie?" Cartman asked as he flexed his muscle, making it in the shape of his own head. As he retreated back to his stool, Heidi walked over to him. Al and two other bodybuilders look at each other with confused faces, and they proceed to make arm farts like Cartman did.

"I'm glad to see you found and exercise program that works for you." Heidi stated.

"Yeah, your workout routine isn't tough enough for me." Cartman said coolly.

"Can't argue with those results." Heidi said. "What you need is to do now is put those muscles to the test."

What Heidi just said caught Cartman slightly off-guard. "Uh, what do you mean?"

"The big South Park Beach Anchor Toss Competition! It's today." Heidi went on. She spread her arms to indicate her point, "Everybody'll be there."

"Here's your drink." The bartender handed Cartman another drink. Coincidentally, he put it on the hand of Cartman's left Anchor Arm. The weight of the glass causes it to sink down into the balloon a little.

"Hey, with those arms, you'll do great." Heidi said confidently.

"Uh, well, I'm not sure." Cartman began.

Heidi walked out of the Juice Bar to sign up for the competition. "Come on, let's go."

Cartman's eyes widen, and he exclaimed, "Right now? W-wait! Wait, Heidi!" He began to go after Heidi, but the Anchor Arm's hand is stuck under the glass. "I don't think it's such a-!" Cartman fell on his back, and he stood up to get the glass off his hand. "Heidi, wait!" Cartman tries to lift it off with his muscles, but the heavy glass wouldn't budge, due to the fact that Cartman is still unaware that they're balloons.

Heidi walked over to a clipboard tacked onto a wooden pole. It's where people sign up for the Anchor Toss Competition. "Here it is. The sign-in list."

Back inside the bar, Cartman is still futilely struggling to get the glass off his hand. "Oh, no.!"

Back with Heidi, she began to write her name on the sign-in paper with a pencil. "OK,_ Heidi_..._Turner_."

At the same time, Cartman is still struggling to free himself. He held a hand out, and shouted, "Wait, Heidi. Don't sign just yet!" He went back to his struggle, and because Heidi is so far away, his pleads fall on deaf ears.

Heidi tore off the paper and drops it in the entry bin, and Cartman is still trying, but still proves unsuccessful. "OK..." Heidi began to lift up the pencil back to the clipboard to write the other contestant's name.

"**WAAAAAAAIT!**" Cartman yelled while holding a hand out.

"_Eric_..._Cartman_." Heidi enunciated as she wrote the name.

Back in the Juice Bar, Cartman frantically tries to get his hand out from under the glass. That is, until the bartender finally lifted the glass sending Cartman flying out of the door. "**HEIDI, WAIT!**"

Cartman was too late; Heidi dropped the second paper into the entry bin, and he slammed face-first into the pole. "It's OK, Cartman." Heidi said as she walked off to prepare for the contest, unaware of Cartman's dilemma. "I already signed your name in."

Cartman slid down the pole, before plopping onto his back. There's no turning back now. "Oh, great. Thanks, Heidi."

Meanwhile, attendance was mandatory at the Anchor Toss Competition. There are 4 giant black iron anchors for the toss by the person who entered the contest. Everyone is stretching and doing squats to prepare themselves for their strength tests as they work their muscles to throw the anchor across the land. Everyone seems to be preparing, except for Cartman, who was clicking his knees nervously. He is a little afraid that he might expose the truth to the crowd.

"We on?" The announcer asked. Then he announced to the crowd over the mic, "_Welcome to The South Park Beach 8th Annual Anchor Toss Competition!_"

"Ready, Eric?" Heidi asked as we walked up to Cartman.

"Yeah, sure." Cartman said with fake anticipation. 'No problem." As Heidi walked over to her station to toss the anchor when it's her turn, Cartman began to rapidly but frantically add extra air into the Anchor Arms.

The announcer asked the person who's giving him a hot dog, "Can I get some mustard on that?" He spoke into the mic, "_Oh, first up: Arnold Schwarznegger!_"

As soon as Arnold is up, he lifted up his anchor with enough muscle in him, and he threw it forward. The tossed anchor zoomed over and landed just a distance far from him. A measurer ran up to record the distance, and he called out, "200 yrds!"

The crowd cheered as the announcer called out, "_Let's see an instant replay!_" Another anchor comes flying in, and it crushes the measurer underneath. Cartman looks worried. Pretty soon his turn will be up. Th announcer continued, "_Amazing! Up next: Al Gore!_"

Gore spun around as he clutched his anchor ready to toss it. He stopped spinning as he finally tossed it up as he let out a fierce yell of confidence. The measurer, who somehow escaped from under the weight of the anchor, screamed as he sees the oncoming anchor advancing toward him from the air. He couldn't bear getting crushed by another anchor, so the measurer runs from the anchor's path, but he wasn't so lucky; the anchor comically followed him as the anchor came down and crushing him down. "210 yrds!" The measurer muffled weakly from under the anchor.

"_Here goes Heidi Turner!_" The announcer announced to the crowd. Once Heidi was up, she lifted up the anchor and tossed it upward. She spun around, and moments later, she kicked it high up in the air with her karate kick. The measurer screamed as loudly as ever as he ran around fearfully in the farthest distance yet. He spun around in circles as the anchor follows him around, and by a stroke of bad luck, the anchor came down on him. "**510 YRDS!**" The measurer cried from the distance.

'_Wow! Fabulous!_" The announcer was impressed by what he saw.

"Beat that, Eric." Heidi said gloatingly. Heidi may have tossed the anchor the farthest distance yet, but it's not over yet. There's still one more competitor.

"_Up next, Eric Cartman!_"

The spectators are all chanting Cartman's name while doing the armpit exercise from earlier. Cartman walked up to the big black anchor, and grabbed hold of the bottom, but it wouldn't budge, due to the Anchor Arms, then he jumped up and grabbed the bar near the top of the anchor and he tried, but instead he falls under the ground, with the heavy anchor tipping to the side. "Ouch." Cartman winced. He slowly pulled himself up from under the ground, and put on a sheepish face. "Just kidding. Just kidding." Cartman laughed awkwardly.

Al, Heidi, and the other competitors laugh at Cartman's deed. "He's funnier than ears on a peanut!" Heidi chortled heartily.

Cartman felt like giving up, due to his weak strength. "Ohh, this is it! They're all going to find out I'm a fake." Cartman groaned. It's true; he's going to totally reveal his fat body to the crowd and it was all going to be a lie. He soon returned back to confidence, "I can't give up! I've got to try!" He continued with new resolve as he flexed once again, 'I can do it! I've got Anchor Arms! I'm no wimp! I'm a jerk!"

Cartman blew his arms up as a small meter points its arrow to JERK size, which made the muscles big as they were before. "Yeah!" He grabbed hold of the anchor still on the ground and he struggled to lift it up, but it still wouldn't budge. He tried so hard that one of the arms deflated to a flabby arm, before enlarging back to muscle. Then the other arm did the same thing as the crowd began to 'ooh' at what's happening. Soon Cartman began to bounce around as the Anchor Arms deflated and re-inflated uncontrollably. The crowd began to chant Cartman's name as Cartman's Anchor Arms reduced and enlarge as he bounced for a few more minutes until...

...the arms burst around Cartman's body as he screams, then the arms explode. Cartman stood there as the Anchor Arms deflate, floating down to the ground. He looked down as one arm sputters one last time. The spectators were blown away by what happened, and one fan said to another, "I think he lost." The crowd soon began to chant Heidi's name as he held up signs of her name, since she's the winner and all.

Cartman soon found out that his 'muscles' were a fraud. Heidi walked up to him, and a truly disappointed look plastered her face. She looked down at the deflated Anchor Arms and she knew that Cartman told a lie about how he got those fake muscles. Cartman chuckled sheepishly as Heidi tapped her foot, then gestures for him to follow her. She started off as Cartman solemnly began to walk behind her, leaving the destroyed remains of the Anchor Arms behind. Looks like Cartman's punishment is coming up: doing another one of Heidi's arduous exercise routines.

Later in the day, Cartman is at Heidi's house, doing some exercising. "..96, 97, 98, 99, 100."

Heidi said smugly, "I want a hundred more."

"It hurts." Cartman whined. If the counting while holding the remote were any indication, it turns out that Cartman was changing the channels on Heidi's flat screen TV as he counted up to 100. It must be another way of exercising, and Heidi was relaxing on the couch. "1, 2, 3, 4..."

"I think we finally found an exercise for you, Eric." Heidi said. Looks like Cartman got what he deserves. As Cartman continued counting, his arm with the remote still in his hand fell to the floor.

"Can you get that?"

**THE END.**


End file.
